well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
