I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
