I am in a vortex of obligation.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
