she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
