I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
