How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She bit a glass in half.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
