Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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