you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
