her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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