you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
This is the high leading the old right now
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
