Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
