so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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