Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
