Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
