either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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