she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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