listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
