He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
