Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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