His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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