ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
