But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
