this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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