I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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