every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
