did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
