He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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