garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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