You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
