Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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