Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i think my cat just said my name.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
