what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
