Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
