I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
