normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wish my penis had a tongue
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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