There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
