The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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