woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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