I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
