It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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