Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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