I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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