arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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