I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
