i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
