I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
