I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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