i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
