dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
