I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We just shotgunned beers for America
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
