Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
